


Choice & Consequence

by inksheddings



Category: Nightrunner Series - Lynn Flewelling
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2006-01-11
Updated: 2006-01-11
Packaged: 2017-10-17 03:57:14
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,347
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/172651
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/inksheddings/pseuds/inksheddings
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>A close call leaves Alec confused and frightened, wondering how</p>
            </blockquote>





	Choice & Consequence

 

Alec couldn't sit down, so he paced. His mind was churning, as well as his  
gut, and if he sat down he was sure he'd be sick. He could feel Seregil's  
eyes watching him from across the room, could feel him trying to reach out  
to him through the Talimenios bond, but he wasn't pushing for Alec to talk.  
Not yet, anyway. Alec didn't think he'd ever be ready to have this  
conversation, but he also knew there was no escaping it. Not after tonight.

 

It should have been an easy job, a quick bit of nightrunning, more fun than  
profit. A party, pretty clothes and charming guests, hosted by Rhiminee's  
newest entry into polite society, Grebus Vallen. He was young, rich – thanks  
to a generous inheritance – and handsome, with admirers both male and  
female. It was on the behalf of one of those admirers that Seregil and Alec  
had attended the party.

  


Since returning from Aurenen at the end of summer, they had stayed quite  
busy rebuilding the Cockerel – to be renamed The Dragon and Owl – and  
reintroducing Lord Seregil and Sir Alec to Rhiminee society. The house on  
Wheel Street was still under the care of Young Runcer, and he was the one  
who had unwittingly sent Seregil and Alec on this particular errand. 

 

Runcer had looked terribly unhappy one morning, and after some gentle  
prodding he'd admitted that his sister had been taken in by Grebus Vallen's  
charms, thinking he was sharing them with only her. She'd soon realized  
her mistake, and was mortified that she had been so easily fooled into giving  
her heart and her body away. She was also dismayed by the fact that she  
had sent Vallen several love letters, and while she knew it was possible that  
he had discarded them, the thought that he might have kept them was  
difficult to bear. She couldn't regain her virginity, but she desperately  
wanted to regain her pride, and in her mind, retrieving those letters would  
go a long way in accomplishing that.

  


The party had seemed the perfect opportunity to help Runcer and his sister.  
A little talk, a little drink, a little time, and most of the partygoers – Vallen  
included – would be drunk and distracted. Seregil would keep his eyes on  
Vallen and Alec would slip upstairs to search for and, if found, retrieve the  
letters.

  


Simple. 

 

Well, it was in the beginning. The party was crowded and it had been easy  
for Alec to pretend he'd had too much to drink, so no one would think twice  
if he went missing for a short while, if anyone even noticed at all. Vallen  
was a charming host, and made the most of that charm, flirting with nearly  
every guest, making Seregil's eyes bleed, trying to keep tabs on his him.

 

The trouble started when Alec was in Vallen's bedroom, and nearly ready to  
give up searching for the letters. Oh, there were lots of letters, and trinkets,  
and perfumes from Vallen's many admirers, most of them simply laying out  
in the open on top of a large, ornate dresser. So many, in fact, and in such  
disorder, it would take Alec more time than he felt safe risking, trying to find  
the right ones.

 

Of course, if anyone found him he could feign drunkenness and the excuse of  
an overfull bladder ...

 

"Sir Alec, what a welcome surprise."

 

Yes, drunkenness and an overfull bladder.

 

Alec swayed a little – but not too much – and smiled crookedly.

 

"Sir Grebus. I seem to be lost."

 

"No, Alec, I'd say you were in exactly the right place." Vallen's smile turned  
predatory and he walked slowly and sensually toward Alec. 

 

He had to admit, Vallen was a handsome man. But stupid. He'd found Alec  
rooting around in his bedroom and the only conclusion he'd managed was  
that Alec wanted to be seduced?

 

Oh. This could be difficult.

 

But it was also a way out of explaining his presence. It was awkward, but he  
could probably get out of here and downstairs to Seregil – and just where  
was Seregil anyway? – without too much groping ...

 

*****

 

Alec finally felt settled enough to sit down on the edge of the bed. His heart  
was still hammering, but he didn't think he would be sick anymore.

 

After a few silent moments, he heard Seregil move across the room. He sat  
down and laced their fingers together. Alec didn't protest, but he felt  
ambivalent about the physical contact.

 

"Alec ... Tali ... I'm sorry."

 

Alec felt his cheeks redden. Seregil was apologizing. He didn't even know  
what had happened, and he was apologizing.  Adding to his shame,  
he hadn't even managed to retrieve the letters, but he couldn't go  
back.  He tried to stand again, but Seregil wouldn't let him. 

 

"Please, don't pull away from me. I realize something happened to upset  
you, and it's partly my fault. Vallen was flitting around the room so much I  
had a difficult time keeping track of him. When he slipped into the kitchen it  
was an effort to push my way through his adoring throng. When I finally  
managed, he was no where to be found and there were two doors he could  
have gone through. I chose the wrong one. I'm sorry, I should have stuck  
a little closer to his side, I just didn't want him to get suspicious."

 

Alec huffed. "Suspicious. He's too stupid for suspicion, believe me."

  
Alec felt Seregil's grip tighten slightly.

 

"Alec, look at me. Tell me what happened."

 

Alec took a deep breath and exhaled, a miserable groan escaping past his  
lips.

 

"I think I can either look at you or tell you what happened, but I'm not sure  
I can do both. At least not at the same time."

 

"Then tell me what happened," Seregil encouraged, circling his thumb over  
Alec's skin.

 

Alec had always been grateful and a little awed by Seregil's patience, his  
affection. Alec was no longer innocent, not so naive, but still far less  
experienced in, well, everything, than Seregil. Yet he never felt  
underappreciated or unimportant. Seregil let Alec take care of him as well  
as Seregil took care of Alec. But now ...

 

Might as well get it over with.

 

"Vallen walked in on me, but it didn't seem to cross his mind that I might be  
a thief. He was more than a little drunk, and he looked at me and ... he  
liked what he saw." Alec cringed. "Bilairy's Balls, Seregil! He thought I  
wanted to ... that I was just another one of his admirers. He kissed me.  
And I ... I had no choice but to kiss him back. I figured, as drunk as he was,  
I could get away without doing more and still let him think he'd get another  
chance. It seemed easy enough at the time. I just ..."

 

Alec paused, and realized he was now gripping Seregil's hand fiercely, and  
that it probably hurt. But Seregil hadn't said a word. Alec relaxed his grip  
and chanced a look at his friend and lover.

 

A small smile graced his face, but his eyes showed confusion.

  
"Alec, from what I've heard about Vallen, he's very persistent when  
someone takes his fancy. I understand that the kiss must have been  
awkward, but you should count yourself lucky that he didn't try to ... he  
didn't did he? He didn't try to force himself on you –"

 

"No! No, nothing like that, I promise!"

 

The last thing either of them needed was Seregil thrown in jail for murdering  
Grebus Vallen.

 

"Then what is it, Tali? You can tell me anything, you must know that."

 

"I do!" Alec swore miserably.

 

"Then what –"

 

"I liked it, all right? I thought I should let the kiss be a bit more than  
chaste, let his hands wander a bit and then I could claim the fear of  
inexperience and the wrath of Lord Seregil if he found us and that would be  
that. But somewhere in the kissing and the wandering, I started to ... I felt  
..."

 

Alec knew he was blushing like mad and he feared he may shed an  
embarrassing tear and he just couldn't quite bring himself to admit that ...

 

"You were aroused," Seregil managed for him.

 

Alec wanted to sink into the floor.

 

"Yes."

 

Seregil continued holding his hand, but his thumb had stopped it's soothing  
motion, and Alec was just waiting for the moment that he pulled away and  
then he _would_ sink into the floor, even if he had to get Thero to cast some  
sort of a ... a ... sinking spell to get the job done. 

 

But he had to find his voice. He had to make this right, if possible.

 

"Please, Seregil ... I ... it didn't go farther than that, I came to my senses  
and he --"

 

And suddenly, not only was Seregil's hand still with his but his whole body  
had wrapped around him and his mouth was placing small, quick kisses along  
his throat and this was not at all how he'd expected him to react to his  
confession.

 

"It's all right, Tali, it's all right. I understand ..."

 

It was Alec who broke out of the embrace upon hearing Seregil's infuriating  
words. He understood? Alec had been kissed and groped by someone he  
didn't even like or respect, had become hard and wanting because of it, and  
Seregil _understood_? 

 

"You need to calm down and listen to me, Alec."

 

Alec felt a wave of affection and love so strong coming off of Seregil, he  
really couldn't help but calm down. Talimenios did have its advantages, and  
he found himself relieved that what had happened hadn't damaged their  
connection. Okay. They could talk about this rationally.

 

But he didn't know what else to say.

 

Seregil placed his hands on either side of Alec's head and touched their  
foreheads together.

 

"Do you remember me telling you once that in the course of my life as a spy  
I'd had to occasionally play the part of lover? I couldn't exactly fake my  
interest then, now could I? It happens, Alec, and sometimes you have to  
thank Aura that our bodies do betray us in that manner. You had to  
convince Vallen, and pure, physical response took care of that nicely. You're  
home now, you're not in jail."

 

Alec wanted to be comforted by Seregil's words, he really did, but he found  
himself growing angry again.

 

"So, another time to simply take what the Lightbearer sends and be  
grateful? Should I be grateful if you ever have to actually sleep with  
someone when you're the one who's caught?"

 

Seregil still cradled his face lovingly, but his response made Alec feel as  
though thousands of miles lay between them.

 

"Yes."

 

Alec tried to deny what he'd heard, the truth of what he'd heard. He did  
remember Seregil's offhand remark, and it had been difficult to process then,  
but now? It was painful. The reality of how they lived this life of theirs –  
spying for Skala, thieving when necessary – Alec had never imagined it could  
effect his relationship with Seregil, not like this. He hadn't given thought to  
how it might effect his opinion of himself, either.

 

Nightrunning was dangerous work, and had its prices as well as its rewards.  
But this ... he didn't know what to think. He didn't know what to say.

 

"Seregil, I ... it's not ..." 

 

The words wouldn't come, so Alec looked his friend in the eye and let the  
Talimenios bond speak for him. He let all his love, confusion, fear and hurt  
run rampant through his soul, hoping Seregil could make sense of it, for he  
could not.

 

"Oh, Alec," Seregil sighed, running his fingers through Alec's blond hair. "I  
don't want you to sleep with anyone else either. I want you all to myself,  
always. For as long as you'd have me. But if faced with the choice of losing  
you to prison or death, or dealing with the knowledge that someone else  
took pleasure in your body – that you may have taken pleasure as well – I'd  
gladly choose the latter. More than gladly, if it meant your coming home  
safe to me. How would you choose, Tali, if face with a similar choice?"

 

Alec was lost in the feel of Seregil's hands, still threading through his hair,  
but he knew how to answer. Truthfully.

 

"The same."

 

And it didn't solve everything, and it didn't make him – or Seregil, he was  
sure – feel any better, but it would have to do, knowing that their love and  
friendship was strong enough to accept the imperfections of life and each  
other. They'd face whatever came their way with love and trust, as they'd  
done all along.

 

But one more question was burning Alec's brain.

 

"Seregil, the Talimenios bond ... if one of us has to ... if ... will we _feel_ it?  
Would I – or you – know it was happening?"

 

It was a dreadful thought, but one Alec couldn't avoid. He figured it was  
better out in the open than rotting him away from the inside out.

 

"I don't know," Seregil answered wearily, pulling Alec further up the bed so  
they could lay down, holding each other close. "I've never bonded with  
anyone before. That's as new to me as it is to you. I didn't have a clue  
what was happening between you and Vallen, if that's any help."

 

It was. Telling Seregil what had occurred had been bad enough. If he'd  
been able to _feel_ it, though ... Alec pushed the thought away as he pulled  
Seregil closer, tucking his head underneath his chin. 

 

Warmth. Love. Home. 

 

"I love you, Alec. I meant it when I said that anything we do, we do with  
honor. No matter what."

 

"I know."

 

And he did. And he felt the same.

 

They didn't make love, but they held each other all night. Feeling the  
mutual flow of Taliemenios, letting it and their proximity comfort and soothe,  
made the reality of difficult choices a bit easier to bear. 

 

This was their life, the way they chose to live it. Most importantly, they had  
chosen to live it together.

  
END   



End file.
